Telling a joke in 140 characters or less like trying to buy size 14 dress shoes and that’s no small feat. #letmechecktheback
So I had this job interview – they asked, “What’s your favorite animal?” I said, “It’s neck and neck between a giraffe and an ostrich.”
I think that the word “Army” is ironic…to me it sounds like a crude nickname for someone who has lost their legs in combat.
I was practising to be a race car driver but I just got off track.
I come up with my best material when I can’t fall asleep. Last month my doctor prescribed me Ambien. I never did figure out a punchline for this one.
So I was trying to pick up this girl at the bar. She said, “Stop that, put me down.”
So I said to this Italian, I said, “How do you like the brie cheese?” She said, “Thatsa gouda!”
[pause for jaded reaction]
I apologize that joke was a bit cheesy.